The Bag Lady

I was 4 years old when I first met the bag lady that would eventually save our family's livelihood. Neighborhood kids called her the cat lady as they were as numerous as the cracks in the sidewalk around her shack of a home. Adults would have called her inconvenient, unlovely and unlovable. We called her Dorothy.

Dorothy had been an only child, orphaned and grew up to be a little spinster lady. Today we would have labeled her as a reclusive hoarder that lived below the poverty line. She lived on the other side of town in a house by the railroad tracks that had broken windows fixed with tape and horded items stacked to the ceiling. Everywhere Dorothy went she carried four to six shopping bags full of items, "You never know what you might need", she once told me. As a child I could never understand why she thought pantyhose with holes, cat food and a big comb that was missing teeth would be items she might need. Due to the large feline presence in her home, usually standing up wind was advisable as the unmistakable order of cat urine permeated her clothing.

No one was kind to Dorothy, except my parents.

Weekly my Mom drove to Dorothy's, picked her up and brought her home. At our house Dorothy took the opportunity to take a hot shower, do a little laundry and eat a good meal. At the end of the evening my Dad would pack up Dorothy, her bags and drive her back home. Mom & Dad made sure her bags had a few extra bits when she left; dinner left-overs or a few miscellaneous grocery items found their way to her bags.

Dorothy loved Jesus. Every now and then she would come to church with us. One Sunday as Dorothy was busy gathering her bags in the foyer after a morning service a church member approached Mom. The lady motioned toward Dorothy and asked, "Why do you even bother with her?" My Mom's response..."Because I love her. My parents are deceased and I am an only child, I could end up in her exact situation." The lady rolled her eyes and walked away.

When I was 13 my family was in the middle of the biggest crisis of my young life. One of the businesses owned by my parents was about to go bankrupt. Due to the structure of the companies, we were going to lose our home and second business property unless my Mom legally bought out my Dad's share of the company at fair market value. Where do you find thousands of dollars during a recession when you've used up your savings try to save the first business?

Dorothy!

"How much would you need to buy out Dale's portion", asked the bag lady? In 1978 the going interest rate was 26%; Dorothy believed that anything over 8% was usury. Yes, Dorothy the bag lady that often smelled of cats, had thousands of dollars which she lent to my parents, to be paid back when they could at 8% interest.

I know this blog is about my current journey, but this was a huge lesson learned at a early age that has remained with me to this day. This portion of my journey solidified the importance of generosity, kindness and compassion to all, not just the convenient people.

Here is what my parents and the bag lady taught me.

#1 God can provide something from nothing.

#2 None of my possessions and wealth are mine because of my ability. They are mine because of the God given, God blessed ideas, plans and work He has bestowed on me.

#3 If it isn't mine then I won't mind sharing it with others in order to bless them.

#4 Being inconvenienced is only a matter of time...time well spent.

#5 Open your home to those around you. Share your food, your shelter and your love with those that need a hug, a smile or a good cup of tea.

#6 Live so that you can be an unexpected blessing to someone else.

#7 See the person, not the label.

#8 It's not about how much money you have or can give. It's about giving of yourself, showing kindness and compassion to others.

I will never forget Dorothy and her bags. Nor will I ever pass up the opportunity to have someone in my home to love on them and bless them.

Now, go find your own bag lady.

Kim Angela

I Haven't Arrived, But I've Left

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. ~ Confucius
Ya think? So does every trip to the bathroom.

Recently I've begun to connect with old friends through my Facebook page. How do you catch up after 20+ years by writing a paragraph? Through the rigors of explaining the last two decades of my life I have discovered the obvious. I'm not where I thought I'd be, but I'm not where I used to be. In other words:

I Haven't Arrived, But I've Left

In one of the many 'catch up' conversations someone asked me how I ended up as an Executive Director working with individuals with developmental disabilities. The quickest answer was because if I'd been the counselor I thought I wanted to be I'd be in jail for murdering my clients. (I'm still working on the virtue of patience.) In my early twenties, I had already been on the mission field and was finishing up college. Visions and dreams of growing up to be a pastoral counselor danced in my head. My senior class at NCU voted me most likely to end up in Springfield running the counseling department for the Assemblies of God. Little did I know that counseling would have been like shooting myself everyday.

Sure our entire life is a journey that started with a single step, but which direction did you head when you took that first step?

When I left college I had great aspirations of getting my doctorate in psychology so I could run the pastoral counseling department at a big church. In order to pay the bills I answered an ad for a direct care staff in a vocational training program that worked with adults with developmental disability. That is the classy version of saying I was hired to wipe bottoms, feed people and be sure they stuffed enough envelopes to get the job done. I fell in love with the people, my job and discovered the field that would be my career for the next twenty years.

Okay, so maybe I didn't end up where I thought I was headed. Would you believe, I have still enjoyed the journey I've taken to get here. Would you believe, I still have a destination that I'm headed to, my journey isn't over. The writer of Hebrews says, 'Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.' Heb 12:1.

There are many races/journeys within our lives, each marked out for us. Some marked by us, some marked by others and some races marked out by Jesus. Have you reached the prize in every race of your life?

1 Corinthians 9:24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

It's never too late to start a race. More important is that it's never too late to get back on the path, detours were inevitable. Every journey brings with it maturity, wisdom, character and knowledge. No journey is ever pointless.

There is one journey that I thank God for daily ~ my relationship with Him. I used to have a poster that showed dozens of dogs running in one direction while one lone dog was headed in the other direction. The caption read, 'When everything is headed in your direction, you're probably going the wrong way.' My journeys have taught me that the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5) only grows in my life when I am experiencing difficult times. It's always easy to be kind, loving, joyful, etc when the sky is clear and no one is bugging me. It isn't so easy when people are pushing my buttons and being mean or stupid. I know I haven't arrived at the destination God has for me. But I've left behind me the person I used to be, choosing to grow in maturity, wisdom, character and knowledge.

Don't let busy schedules, friends or life get in the way of pursuing your spiritual growth journey. You may not have arrived at your destination, but I pray that you have at least left where you were.

The mile markers on my journeys vary, none of them are still at 0.

I haven't arrived, but I've left.

Come on, take another step.

Kim Angela

Welcome To My Drawing Room

I am a huge fan of Victorian England. From the squalor of the tenements to the mansions in Belgrade Square the era epitomized the best and the worst of times. Suffragettes, workhouses, the first World's Fair, Florence Nightingale, Jack the Ripper, the grieving Queen Victoria, all elements that contributed to the burgeoning Industrial Revolution.

The Victorian era was a time of double standards. England had abolished slavery as the era began, yet ruling and conquering other countries in the name of the Crown during this time expanded the kingdom around the globe. The male, female role demonstrated the vast gulf in double standard. Divorce legislation in 1857 allowed a man to divorce his wife for adultery; however, a wife could only divorce her husband for adultery if it was accompanied by cruelty.

The Victorian Era was about appearance, what was publicly acceptable. An individual could live like hell in private, as long as his public persona demonstrated an accepted level of morality and honesty. Remind you of anything?

My favorite ideal in the Victorian era is the drawing room. Behind the doors of the mansions on the tree-lined streets the drawing room was the social hub of the respectable upper class. Here the 'general of the household', the wife, placed all the finery her home had to offer. Every decorative accoutrement of the Victorian home was on display while the wife held court, received visitors, served high tea and gossiped. The drawing room offered the impression of luxury, leisure and wealth, making that first impression a lavish, lasting one.

Visitors & friends were never allowed past the drawing room. To be allowed into the inner sanctum of the home the individual must be a family member, and then only in certain circumstances. It was all about the appearance of stability and stature. It must maintained at all cost.

If a household fell on difficult times with money in short supply the house would be run on less heat or food before the lavish decorations in the drawing room would be sold to make ends meet. Furnishings, art and family possessions would be sold from other parts of the house to pay bills. Every stick of furniture in the home would be sold with the drawing room the last to be relieved of any of its décor. Maintaining a large home in wintry England called for fireplaces to be kept burning with coal. As money for heat dwindled many fireplaces were no longer lit, except the drawing room fireplace. The bigger and brighter the fire, the great the appearance that the cost of coal was immaterial to you.

This façade would leave visitors believing that the household was in running order. Invited guests would hang out in the drawing room assuming that the appearance indicated that all was well with the household.

As Christians we have invited Jesus into our lives. All too often we have left Him lingering in the drawing room. He isn't allowed in to the inner sanctum or the corners of our house to see what we are truly about. It is to this same room that our church & family have been allowed to linger. Because of fear and embarrassment we have maintained the façade of the drawing room, never fully being able to use the entire house for its true purpose.

What happens when the church or a family member wanders into a room of your life that it is full of inappropriate furniture, or empty and devoid of life? We become indignant and feel that they have overstepped their boundary. After all we are about presenting the appearance of appropriateness.

Jesus wants us to be able to throw the doors of our heart and life wide open to Him. Ephesians says, ‘In opening every aspect to Him, He will provide you with strength from His glory to be able to live an overcoming life.’

Ephesians 3:17-16 ~ May He grant you out of the rich treasury of His glory to be strengthened and reinforced with mighty power in the inner man by the Holy Spirit, Himself indwelling your innermost being and personality. May Christ through your faith actually dwell, settle down, abide, and make His permanent home in your hearts! May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love, that you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all God's devoted people, the experience of that love what is the breadth and length and height and depth of it; That you may really come to know practically, experience for yourselves the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge without experience; that you may be filled through all your being unto all the
fullness of God, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself! (Amp Version).

We need to understand that it isn't enough to invite Jesus into the drawing room of our lives. He wants to live in every room. Allow Jesus to live, settle down and set up housekeeping in you.

My two goals are that the drawing room of my life is comfortable for all, reflecting the entire home and to have all the rooms of my life inhabitable by everyone.

Kim Angela

Author's Note: I grew up in a three story Victorian house. My bedroom had been part of the original drawing room, it still had stainglass windows ~ who finds stainglass windows for a home in Canada at the turn of the century? It was all about appearance.

What's Your Such

My journey started when I was four years old; however there have been paths on my journey that have been poignant, life altering and scary. Some of the paths this journey has taken me down really could have used a GPS. You know one of those that you can program a nice male Australian accent to tell you how to get to your destination. At least if I had to go around the mountain one more time to learn my lesson I would have a mellow voice telling me to keep making a right until I completed the circle. Turn Right at the next rock in the road.


I ran over the most current rock in the road this past December.


The Women's ministry at my church does a wonderful Christmas Banquet for all the ladies. We decorate tables with Christmas finery, eat, laugh and enjoy each others company. This year our Mid-High Pastor shared on Joy. At the close of the message she opened the altars for ladies to receive prayer for everything and anything, especially joy. I had been asked to help in the altar and was standing behind two ladies that were being prayed for ~ one by the Mid-High Pastor and the other by the Pastor's wife. As I stood there praying my 12 year old niece came and stood in front of me. I leaned over and asked her what she wanted prayer for, she told me. I said okay let's wait for someone to be finished, who do you want to pray for you, the Mid-High Pastor or the Pastor's wife? She turned around and look at me saying, I want you to pray for me. Oh my!


At that moment I had a Peter & John at the Beautiful Gate moment. Problem was it would have been easier to give her silver or gold.

Acts 3:1-6 One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer--at three in the afternoon. Now a man crippled from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, "Look at us!" So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them. Then Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but such as I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk." Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man's feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God.


What is my 'Such'? How do I get more 'such' in my life? I don't have enough 'such' in my life.


Have you ever had that inadequate or empty feeling? Sure I can tell you all the right answers, the Holy Spirit dwells in me ~ God will use my obedience when I pray for her yadda yadda yadda. Jesus & I are close ~ I'm good to go ~ I'll pray in the altar with anyone and have faith to believe God is going to meet their needs. This was different. I felt like crying and for days afterward couldn't help but feel like I had let her down. She was looking for something more than a prefunctatory prayer. She was looking for something that was life changing.


Go ahead post a comment about how all I need to do is be faithful and God will do the rest.


But is it always up to God? Is God the only one with a part to play or do I have something to do with what happens when I pray?


Eph 3:16-20 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us


God can do way beyond our wildest expectations, BUT it's only according to how much of His power (presence, life, personality, glory) that is inside us. Problem ~ I knew that already.
While my real life GPS can tell me where to find the next gas station or the closest Taco Bueno, it can't tell me were to find more 'such' for my life. Instead my GPS is telling me to turn right at this rock, go around the mountain until I find more 'such'.


I prayed with my niece that night a wonderful, heartfelt caring prayer. Did she find what she was looking for? I don't know. Perhaps if my 'such' that is at work within me was a little more powerful I would know that she received what she was looking for.


If finding more 'such'/power that worketh in me was as easy as programing a GPS I'd feel better. Here I am with my GPS programed to keep me going around this mountain until I can confidently say, 'Silver and Gold have I none, but such as I have I give to you,...'


Turn Right at the Rock.


Kim Angela

The 3 C's of My Christianity

Communing, or communicating with God is the reason for which I was created. Worship is one of the ways I communicate with Jesus. Would you believe that we were all created to be gardeners and hang out with God?

Genesis 2:15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

We were not created to win souls.

I can hear your mouse skidding across the mouse pad trying to escape this blog after such blasphemy. Just keep reading!

C #1: COMMUNE with Him

We were created to commune with Him, walk and talk with Him in the cool of the day. When man fell the communing with God stopped. After man sinned they heard the sound of the Lord walking in the garden in the cool of the day. They were familiar with the sound; He had walked in the garden often so they knew the sound of God.

Genesis 2:8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden.

Because man sinned, our fellowship with God was lost; man was banished from the garden. Yet in His mercy God made a way for man to regain the fellowship and communication with Him through the death and resurrection of His son. God’s plan became flesh through His son Jesus. The initiation of His plan to reconnect called for His son to pick out twelve men just so they could fellowship together, getting to know Jesus.

C #2: COMISSIONED by Him

Mark 3:13 Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him. He appointed twelve--designating them apostles--that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach.

Did you catch the last part of the verse, ‘that he might send them out to preach’? Now it’s time to win souls. We were created to commune ~ we are commissioned to see souls changed.

God’s goal for man since we were kicked out of the garden was to return to the fellowship for which we were designed. Our lives are spent striving toward the level of intimacy and communication man had while in the garden. The more we commune with God the greater our hunger and desire to answer His call of commission. Living and communing with Him in His glory leads us into fulfilling His commission.

C #3: CHANGED into His Likeness

Romans 8:29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

The disciples went through the C-process. First they were called to COMMUNE with Jesus; then COMMISSIONED to go preach the gospel to all nations: then they were filled with the Holy Spirit, receiving power and began to personally CHANGE while CHANGING the world.

Those that knew Jesus through their communing received a commission from Him to change the world. Out of our communing with Jesus is birthed a desire tell others of the wonderful things we have discovered about Him. The more we discover the more change is derived in our life. The more change that is derived in our life the more others can see that we have something they need. As we commune with Him and lift Him up in our lives, others will notice that what we have on the inside is different.

I want something in my life worth telling others about. I want the person I demonstrate to the world be something that they see as a good thing for their life. As I commune with Jesus and become transformed into His image I believe that it makes a response to His commission easier.

Jesus may have been speaking about the manner of His death, but I believe that John 12:32 is a key to answering the commission.

John 12:32: And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me.

Is my life lifting up Jesus? Is my life a reflection of who Jesus is? Is my personality something that others see as Jesus inspired? Is how I act everyday lifting up the love, kindness, gentleness and peace of Jesus?

Tough questions that I can’t answer with always; hopefully more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.

Working out the 3 C’s of my Christianity has kept me from falling into the 3 R’s of Church.

R #1~Repent: We get saved.

R #2~Righteous: We figure out how to live an upright, moral and proper life based on the rules of the church.

R#3~Relax: We sit back and wait for Jesus to come back and get us out of here.

If the disciple’s journey followed the 3 R’s my journey would have never begun.

Lord, help me grow in the 3 C’s.

Kim Angela

It's Not My Shicken!!!

As I continue in the blogging world there will be dozens of references to my 'shicken' story. Rather than make you guess, here is my 'shicken' story.

It's Not My Shicken!

Most of us live in a town that has some type of fair or celebration; Peach Festival, Pancake Days or County Fair all designed for family fun. In my hometown we celebrate Rooster Days. It harkens back to the good old days when farmers brought their hens and roosters to market. Parades, breakfasts, rides and a general party atmosphere pervades the town for almost a week.

During Rooster Days my friend picked up her two young boys from daycare ready to head home at the end of a long day. At daycare the boys had made rooster pictures by tracing their hands and decorating the masterpiece. The boys grabbed their backpacks and pictures, jumped in the car and drove home. As the Mom began to get the boys out of the car the youngest started to cry. We've all been here ~ the more she tries to persuade him to get out of the car the louder he cries. Finally she asks what's wrong? He lifts up his rooster picture and says, "It's not my shicken!" Mom tries to pacify him saying how nice this rooster is and we'll put it up on the fridge. He replies, "Why, it's not my shicken". In order to calm the scene Mom gets back in the car, drives to daycare, takes back the rooster picture and finds the correct shicken picture. Life is now wonderful because he has his own shicken, not someone elses.

What has that got to do with the price of tea in China? Not much, but it does have a lot to do with how we live our lives as Christians.

Our personality and culture create a norm to be satisfied in carrying around other people's shicken. We'll even stick other people's shicken up on our fridge and act like it's ours, giving it all the respect and attention deserved.

Definition of shicken:

• 
  Offense ~ Your co-worker has been offended by another co-worker ~ their shicken. The co-worker has never been anything but nice to you. After they tell you the story of what happened you see why they are offended. Now you are offened for the person and begin treating the co-worker differently ~ it has become your shicken.


• Guilt ~ They need help in the canteen at your daughter's soccer game. You are scheduled to take your Mom to visit her sister and your spouse can't make that weekend either. You will fill in twice next month but this weekend is out. The canteen lady is a little snippy and has a few snide comments about the lack of support for your daughter's team ~ it's her attitude (shicken). Even though you know there isn't anything you can do to be there you worry and stew over what the canteen lady said to you and feel guilty because you can't make it ~ her shicken has now transformed into a shicken that you are carrying.


• Anger/Strife ~ Your friend for decades has decided to leave the church you both attend and go to the church across town. Problem is they make a big deal about it and try to stir up problems even after they leave. They are carrying around a huge shicken related to this change. Two things happen 1)They want you to take on their shicken of anger and help stir up strife ~ transfer their shicken to you. 2)You think it's all ridiculous and want them to let it go. However it makes you angry enough that you begin to treat them differently and habor things in your heart towards them ~ you have succesfully created your own shicken.

People want to transfer their shicken to you; and we willingly take their shicken home with us and stick it on the fridge. When the neighbor comes over for coffee we oo and aw over the shicken on the fridge hashing over the merits, clarity and validity of the shicken.

Of course the best fridge art seems to be the shicken we create on our own. We are always proudest of the shicken we created from our own imagination.

If we are designed to make roosters but in it's place put up shickens we are out of alignment with what is right. God created us to commune with Him and while we are on this journey we are to work on being known as Christians. How do they know you are a Christian? By your love.

Are the pictures on your fridge roosters, created with love?

Are your fridge shickens created by you and others using all manner of anger, bitterness, guilt and offense?

It's time to clear off your fridge and remind yourself, "It's not my shicken!"

Kim Angela

I Wonder as I Wander

Do you ever just wonder?

Really I mean it.

Do you ever shut off the stimulus around you and just wonder? No music, no children, no television just you and the quiet. What do you think about when it's quiet? What do you wonder?

I wonder if I'll ever be able to see my toes again? I wonder if my dog will get fleas this summer? I wonder if the answer to my prayer is really what I am expecting? I wonder if I'll recognize the answer when it arrives? When was the last time you just wondered?
Not worry ~ wonder.

My best wondering time is in the car. Yes, I have to concentrate on driving, but I can shut out all other distractions and just wonder. No matter where I wander near or far I wonder.

Quiet time. Is it an oxymoron or it is just an antiquated phrase used by our parents when they wanted us to go to bed? Quiet time is used as an euphemism for doing your daily devotions and praying. I'm all for that. But I need time that is quiet ~ nothing impeding my wondering.

Weird? Maybe. But how can I stretch my thinking to think out of the box useless I wonder how to get there? How can I hear what the Lord tells me without quiet time? How can I do what he tells me unless I have wondered how to do it?

In the Book of Job he says, "I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil."

Have no rest? Need Peace? Experiencing turmoil in areas of your life?
Find your quiet time when you can just wonder!

Phillipians 4:8
And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things (wonder about things) that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things (wonder about things) that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Kim Angela

Wordless

I can sit at my computer for hours and work; of course I'd rather be shopping, keeping up with my March Madness Brackets or even surfing. All of which I can do from the comfort of my desk. Research indicates that women speak 20,000 to 25,000 words per day while men top out around 10,000. Why do I feel like my word count icon would be in the 35,000+ range?

Speaking I have covered. Blogging? This is a whole new world. The spoken word pours out of me at a rate only seconded by the wings of a hummingbird; the written word flows as fast as my fingers can type. Then why is it difficult to find the words to write my first blog?

Maybe the world is too small. When I was 18 years old I spent 1 year and a half living in Bangkok Thailand . Calling home to America cost a fortune and I was a terrible letter writer. Now I turn on the laptop crank up the video camera and I'm chatting to the other side of the world in minutes, basically free. We've come a long way.

Shouldn't your first blog be memorable? Something witty and insightful that will keep the throngs returning to the site. Witty will have to come later.

I want to be life changing. I want my life to effect those around me in a positive way.

Keep reading my blogs and join me on my journey.


Kim Angela