My journey started when I was four years old; however there have been paths on my journey that have been poignant, life altering and scary. Some of the paths this journey has taken me down really could have used a GPS. You know one of those that you can program a nice male Australian accent to tell you how to get to your destination. At least if I had to go around the mountain one more time to learn my lesson I would have a mellow voice telling me to keep making a right until I completed the circle. Turn Right at the next rock in the road. I ran over the most current rock in the road this past December.
The Women's ministry at my church does a wonderful Christmas Banquet for all the ladies. We decorate tables with Christmas finery, eat, laugh and enjoy each others company. This year our Mid-High Pastor shared on Joy. At the close of the message she opened the altars for ladies to receive prayer for everything and anything, especially joy. I had been asked to help in the altar and was standing behind two ladies that were being prayed for ~ one by the Mid-High Pastor and the other by the Pastor's wife. As I stood there praying my 12 year old niece came and stood in front of me. I leaned over and asked her what she wanted prayer for, she told me. I said okay let's wait for someone to be finished, who do you want to pray for you, the Mid-High Pastor or the Pastor's wife? She turned around and look at me saying, I want you to pray for me. Oh my!
At that moment I had a Peter & John at the Beautiful Gate moment. Problem was it would have been easier to give her silver or gold.
Acts 3:1-6 One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer--at three in the afternoon. Now a man crippled from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, "Look at us!" So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them. Then Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but such as I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk." Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man's feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God.
What is my 'Such'? How do I get more 'such' in my life? I don't have enough 'such' in my life.
Have you ever had that inadequate or empty feeling? Sure I can tell you all the right answers, the Holy Spirit dwells in me ~ God will use my obedience when I pray for her yadda yadda yadda. Jesus & I are close ~ I'm good to go ~ I'll pray in the altar with anyone and have faith to believe God is going to meet their needs. This was different. I felt like crying and for days afterward couldn't help but feel like I had let her down. She was looking for something more than a prefunctatory prayer. She was looking for something that was life changing.
Go ahead post a comment about how all I need to do is be faithful and God will do the rest.
But is it always up to God? Is God the only one with a part to play or do I have something to do with what happens when I pray?
Eph 3:16-20 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us
God can do way beyond our wildest expectations, BUT it's only according to how much of His power (presence, life, personality, glory) that is inside us. Problem ~ I knew that already.
While my real life GPS can tell me where to find the next gas station or the closest Taco Bueno, it can't tell me were to find more 'such' for my life. Instead my GPS is telling me to turn right at this rock, go around the mountain until I find more 'such'.
I prayed with my niece that night a wonderful, heartfelt caring prayer. Did she find what she was looking for? I don't know. Perhaps if my 'such' that is at work within me was a little more powerful I would know that she received what she was looking for.
If finding more 'such'/power that worketh in me was as easy as programing a GPS I'd feel better. Here I am with my GPS programed to keep me going around this mountain until I can confidently say, 'Silver and Gold have I none, but such as I have I give to you,...'
Turn Right at the Rock.
Kim Angela
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